feat: add post on therapy

diff --git a/content/2026-06-26-what-ive-learned-after-one-year-of-therapy.smd b/content/2026-06-26-what-ive-learned-after-one-year-of-therapy.smd
new file mode 100644 (file)
index 0000000..565f258
--- /dev/null
+++ b/content/2026-06-26-what-ive-learned-after-one-year-of-therapy.smd
@@ -0,0 +1,65 @@
+---
+.title = "What I've learned after one year of therapy",
+.date = @date("2026-06-26T00:00:00"),
+.author = "Alexander Goussas",
+.layout = "post.shtml",
+.draft = false,
+---
+
+In 2025, I tried to kill myself. The reasons are unimportant, and there is not
+really _a_ reason.
+
+Since then, I have seen 3 different doctors over the course of a year. The
+longest I've been with any one of them has been 17 sessions. I've also been
+prescribed antidepressants as part of my treatment.
+
+This is to say, I think I have a pretty complete picture of what therapy for
+suicidal people looks like, at least in Ecuador.
+
+## What therapy works for
+
+Therapy works for identifying the sources of pain. To explain why things are the
+way they are today for you.
+
+When someone has lived their whole life under the same circumstances, they come
+to consider these circumstances as normal. From an external viewpoint,
+the cause-effect relationship between said life circumstances and later suicide
+attempt are clear, and the first job of the therapist will be to make you
+understand this.
+
+This understanding empowers the patient to take a hold of their lives moving on.
+To understand that what happened happened, that it was not their faults, and
+that they have control of what comes next. It's useful, and it's kept me from
+trying it again.
+
+## What therapy does not work for
+
+Therapy does not work to make the pain go away.
+
+Shortly after I tried to take my own life, a person who had been molested by
+their parent's partner as a child was trying to help me. One of the first things
+they told me was that the pain _never_ goes away, that you just learn to live
+with it.
+
+Fast forward almost a year after and, through my own experience, I am convinced
+they were right.
+
+Therapy will not make you happy, and I don't think happiness is a state that can
+be achieved for many people. We as human beings experiment a wide spectrum of
+emotions throughout our lives. Which of those we get to experience the most
+depends strongly on our circumstances.
+
+Nonetheless, we are not doomed to be victims of our circumstances, nor of our own
+emotions. If we don't understand what we are feeling, then things can get messy.
+And dangerous. But once we unlock this understanding, we get to choose.
+
+## Closing thoughts
+
+Today, when I feel like I want to kill myself, I understand why. And I can
+choose to let it get a hold of me or not. I have to admit, saying it is easier
+than doing it, and many times I do let it control me. But at least I know that
+is my choice.
+
+So, if you are going through a hard time, I do recommend therapy. Just don't
+expect it to "fix" you. There is nothing to be fixed. Only things to understand.
+